Serial Box’s Favorite Vatican Archive Conspiracy Theories
BOOKBURNERS from Serial Box and created by Max Gladstone is back with season 3! Sal and the rest of the Vatican-backed black-ops anti-magic squad—Team Three of the Societas Librorum Occultorum— are stretched thin trying to control an influx of magic—and they don’t have much support from the Vatican. Can they overcome their history and band together to protect humanity from an increasing magical threat? Or will it destroy them, like it has destroyed everything else in its path?
To celebrate the return of The Bookburners we’re investigating some of our favorite conspiracy theories about the Vatican’s Secret Archives, aka Archivum Secretum Apostolicum Vaticanum. The archives are subject to plenty of wild conspiracy theories, and for good reason. With a name like that, who wouldn’t speculate? As far as the general public knows, the Archives contain historical documents spanning at least 12 centuries, including original letters written by Michelangelo and even a entreaty written on birch bark by the Canadian Ojibwe tribe in 1887.
Naturally, many people have speculated that there must be secret documents amongst the 50+ miles of shelving in the Vatican’s Archives. Of course, no one is allowed to browse the Archives – they’re called Secret for a reason! – Any curious historians must ask to view a particular text. Only select scholars, academics, and journalists are allowed to enter the Archives, a rule that is highly unlikely to change any time soon… After all, who knows what they might find…
Many conspiracy theorists believe the Archives contain correspondence between Saint Paul and Emperor Nero pertaining to Jesus’ existence and his biological descendants.
Some theorists also believe the Vatican may be hiding proof that Jesus did not exist. You’ve got to hand it to them, that would definitely be something the Catholic Church would want to hide.
Aliens, or evidence of alien life forms, such as extraterrestrial skulls! Not only that, but there’s rumors that the Archives contain evidence that the Pope is conspiring with aliens to implant us all with computer chips. How creepy. For more info, take a look at this video.
There is a great deal of evidence that the text of the the controversial Third Secret of Fátima is one of the many secret documents hidden in the Vatican’s Archives. In 1917, three Portuguese children received ominous and enigmatic prophecies and multiple visions of the Virgin Mary, one of which was witnessed by thousands of people. The Church’s suppression of the final Third Secret fueled rampant speculation about its contents, ranging from apostasy of the papacy to nuclear holocaust, to natural disasters ushering in the Apocalypse. The Vatican’s supposed “release” of this Secret in 2000 did little to quell our concerns, for obvious reasons.
Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, the Archives are home to the largest collection of pornography. This statement is confirmed not only by Copenhagen’s Museum Erotica, where visitors are routinely informed that the Vatican holds the largest collection of erotica in the world, but also in writings by noted feminist scholar Camille Paglia and National Review founder William F. Buckley, Jr.
Some people speculate that the Archives are controlled by the Illuminati. Those people are probably right, but not in the sense that celebrities like Beyonce have a hand in archival curation. Entertainers are too busy to work on these archives, obviously. Yet, after its medieval dissolution, the Illuminati slowly built itself up, electing members to go into the highest offices in the world. One of these offices includes the Vatican City, where many high figures, including the Archivists, are likely Illuminati members.
The Chronovisor is supposedly a machine that allows its users to view past and future events. The device is said to have been built by an Italian priest and scientist, Father Pellegrino Maria Ernetti, so he could record evidence of Christ’s crucifixion. Of course, as there is no record of the machine, it’s most likely resting place must be hidden somewhere in the Archives.
For more conspiracies check out these videos:
Bookburners Season 3 by Max Gladstone, Margaret Dunlap, Brian Francis Slattery, Andrea Phillips, Mur Lafferty
Available on July 19, 2017 by Serial Box
Magic is real, and hungry—trapped in ancient texts and artifacts, only a few who discover it survive to fight back. Detective Sal Brooks is a survivor. Freshly awake to just what dangers are lurking, she joins a Vatican-backed black-ops anti-magic squad: Team Three of the Societas Librorum Occultorum. Together they stand between humanity and magical apocalypse. Some call them the Bookburners. They don’t like the label.
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