A big welcome to Jamie Wyman who is here counting down the Top 10 Secrets of the World (As related by a technomage) and celebrating the release of Uninvited, Etudes in C#, No. 3 (published on October 18, 2016 by Pajamazon Wordworks). Want to win a copy? Enter via the widget below.
Jamie Wyman’s Top 10 Secrets of the World (As related by a technomage)
I’m Catherine Sharp – fiesty Cancer, technomage and sarcastic Hufflepuff. So there’s the book coming out about me and some of my misadventures. The world I live in–the one you live in–is not what you think. The picture of reality isn’t just two-dimensional, but one with many layers, threatening to yank you off your feet. I thought that I’d swing by All Things UF and let you all in on some of what I’ve learned in my time. Here are 10 Secrets of the World as revealed by me, your friendly native guide.
10. Technomancy: It’s a thing
Let’s start with the obvious: Technomancy. This is the ability to communicate with and manipulate machines. You ever meet someone who just seems to have a knack for fixing things? Someone who could look at your broken iPhone and suddenly have it up and running? A massage therapist who just knew exactly where to work? Chances are you’ve met a technomage.
Those of us in this little club often find ourselves working in the IT field, or at the very least at an Apple store near you. And unless someone says, “You’re a wizard, Harry” and gives us a cake, the average technomage is just going to think she’s adept with machines. There’s more to it, though. It’s not just about resurrecting a dead laptop. Locked doors mean nothing to me: even those electronic ones with keypads and retina scanners. I can talk to them and whisper my will into the the mechanism to that it sweetly opens for me.
I’ve got this friend, Karma. Her piercings are actually implants that allow her to change her hair color at will. She’s also a nurse with a slew of gadgets that help her heal others. The body is a complex machine, after all.
If you’re looking for a technomage around Las Vegas, you need only check out the Strip. Every major casino has one on staff to make sure the games are running smoothly. Don’t think you can coax one of them into helping you cheat, though. Anything you could offer them is chump change in comparison to the bank roll behind them. You’re better off heading to YmFy. If you can find the old abandoned warehouse on the northwest side of the city, and if you can see past the glamours in place, you might get into this exclusive underground club that caters to the techno crowd.
Technomages are just one group of magic users in the world. There are practitioners that wield water, fire, metal and more. Some of them are even human. Which leads me to….
9. Supernatural Beasties Exist
With Halloween coming up, I’m sure a lot of people are trying to figure out how they’re going to dress this year. Vampire? Warewolf? Faery? Here’s the thing, though. All of those things exist, and so much more. While I cannot confirm or deny if a certain presidential nominee is, in fact, a cave troll, I am close friends with a satyr. My favorite hair stylist is a faery. And I’ve had the misfortune to see my apartment destroyed by half-shark men from Hawaiian myth. Because those stories aren’t just fairy tales….
8. Gods, too. And they suck.
I learned this lesson the hard way. The gods are real. All of them. I’ve met some of the more unsavory beings of pantheons. Eris, the Greek goddess of Discord, took possession of my soul some years ago, and with that I was thrown into the deep end of the supernatural world. A world with lecherous satyrs, wicked faeries and deities playing poker with the souls of humanity. I’ve not met capital-G God, but a few of the Greek gods are familiar faces. And Eris’s poker buddies, the Trickster gods. Loki, Maui, Coyote and Puck. Dealing with them is a good way to develop a drinking habit.
I still maintain that I’m an atheist, though. There’s a difference between knowing the gods exist and believing they’re a force for good.
7. The Nigerian Prince
That’s Anansi, by the way. A trickster spirit from Africa commonly represented as a spider. The internet is Anansi’s favored web these days. He uses it to swindle cash from people. (I’m also told he loves Gaiman’s books.)
6. What Happens In Vegas
You know that old adage, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”….? Well, it’s not just a saying. It’s a spell. I’m not sure who laid it on the city or how it works exactly, but when people leave Vegas, their exploits fade to something like a dream. Tales told take on the quality of fish stories. It’s a very real bit of magic that has become a tourist slogan.
5. Fashionable Fae
The fashion industry is run by the Fae. These ridiculously beautiful creatures pride themselves on being the hautest of couture and would take it as a huge insult if a human made something more lovely. Also, if you want to bitch at someone about the ridiculous beauty standards in the world, or the amount of Photoshop that has to be used (hint: it’s sometimes a Fae model with no ‘shop necessary)…find a faery and give them a piece of your mind. Just make sure you don’t eat or drink anything they offer you. In fact, don’t make any sort of deal with them. Even something that sounds simple could leave you in a heap of trouble. Or without a soul. Ask me how I know.
4. Souls as Currency
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s when the gods notice you that you want to start worrying. I won’t go into detail here as it’s a very long, convoluted story, but my soul found its way into the possession of Eris. I found out sometime later that it’s not uncommon for the gods to use human souls as literal bargaining chips. Sometimes they’re gambled away in poker games. Other times, trading souls can be like dealing in blue chip stocks. Hold on to yours tightly. And that’s coming from an atheist.
3. Dreams Aren’t Always Dreams
Speaking from experience again…sometimes gods and monsters like to use the dreams of mortals to get their points across. There are lots of creatures–including satyrs and fae–that can manipulate minds. This is how I know the gods suck. This is how I know magical creatures can be ruthless bitches. Because they worm into your head unwanted and root around, picking through your memories and emotions. They use that information to ….well, it’s really up to them. Maybe they want you to agree to something you would otherwise find abhorrent. Perhaps they’re simply having fun. Sometimes they just want to get your attention. Regardless, when supernatural beings are around, your mind is an open book.
2. Working For A God Is A Bitch
You think your boss can be spiteful and nasty? Try taking orders from a deity. The older ones have no interest in the minutia of day to day life. They don’t care if you’ve got bills to pay or a powerful need to have a night off. If they snap their fingers, you’re expected to dance to the beat.
1. The World Is Beautiful
If you can see what I see, the world is a dance of light and color. I see pathways of information zooming from star to power plant, to a well of energy, to a device, to a user. There’s a luscious dance in the way the world works. I wish you could see it. Maybe you can. Regardless, it’s what makes all the infighting, the drama and deity angst worth it. Because the world I see is more real than anything I knew before my powers came to me, before I got involved with Tricksters and satyrs. It’s a world worth fighting for.
After a misspent adulthood pursuing a Music Education degree, JAMIE WYMAN fostered several interests before discovering that being an author means never having to get out of pajamas. (However, she can eat/spin fire, tell you a lot about auditioning to be a Blue Man, and read/write in Circular Gallifreyan.)
Jamie also works as an editor. In addition to freelance work, she works with sci-fi/fantasy publisher Dragon Moon Press.
As an author, Jamie’s favorite playgrounds are urban fantasy, horror and creepy carnival settings. You can find novels, novellas, short stories and flash fiction by Jamie in a variety of places. Start looking here. Jamie also writes articles for Cracked.com.
When she’s not traipsing about with her imaginary friends, she lives in Phoenix with two hobbits and two cats. She is proud to say she has a deeply disturbed following at her blog. Send chai.
One winner will win digital copies of all 3 Etudes in C# books (Wild Card, Unveiled and Uninvited)
Two winners will win a digital copy of Uninvited
Enter the giveaway via the widget below
Uninvited by Jamie Wyman
Available on October 18, 2016 by Pajamazon Wordworks
On her 30th birthday, Catherine Sharp has a lot to celebrate: a great IT job in Las Vegas, a growing mastery of technomancy, and a deity or two on speed dial. She’s barely had a chance to blow out her candles when she finds a half-dead body on her doorstep.
For centuries, the satyr has lied, cheated and swindled the upper crust of several pantheons in service to Eris, the Greek goddess of Discord. However, he has angered his mistress and found himself vulnerable. With bloodthirsty gods and monsters after him, Marius runs to the only person he hopes he can trust: Cat.
Despite his previous betrayal, Cat still harbors a soft spot for Marius. Helping her means taking on demons and deities, but telling him to fend for himself leaves Cat wrestling with feelings she’d rather not think about. The birthday girl has a choice to make, and it isn’t a simple one. She must weigh the sins of his checkered past against their strange chemistry. Matters of the heart clash with the politics of divinity and family business. Everything hinges on the answer to one question: can she trust him?
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