A big welcome to Shawntelle Madison who is here to telling us about The Immortality Cheatsheet and celebrating the release of Under My Skin, The Immortality Strain Series #1 (published on December 9, 2014 by Shawntelle Madison). Want to win a copy? Enter via the widget below.
The Immortality Cheatsheet
Let’s say you found the means to live forever. An elixir or some other bubbly concoction that will make sure your ticker will keep going for all time. In my book, UNDER MY SKIN, adults use the bodies of teens to live forever. Since I’ve had the opportunity to write about folks who want to live forever, I thought I’d offers some handy tips for the lucky gal or guy who figures out a way to live forever.
1. Don’t tell anyone how you became immortal.
This one is easy. The more people that know you’ve figured out how to live forever, the more likelihood that someone will want to take you out. Almost everyone wants to live longer and experience all the things live has to offer. Got a girlfriend/boyfriend? Don’t tell them. Matter of fact, just don’t date period. What about that college buddy who’d saved your life way back in the day? Nope, she doesn’t need to know either.
2. Take care of yourself.
Have you seen that movie, Death Becomes Her. The main protagonists figure out how to live forever, but their bodies can still be damaged. If I were in the same position I would be smothered in bubble wrap. I’d be the bubble boy and have food delivered for all eternity. No more stairs, heights, plane rides, long road trips to find myself. Nope. Nope. Nope.
3. Find one person/one family to take care of you. A family of cute little minions if necessary.
Most rich eccentrics have a manservant or some other person to handle their business. If you’re gonna be immortal, you might as well do the same. Important tip: treat them very well and for goodness sake don’t trust them. Ever. I’ve seen so many movies where the main character is betrayed by someone close to them. Easy solution: trust nobody. Also, make sure that every need they have is taken care of in terms of education, shelter, and food.
4. Cover your tracks.
Have you seen the Highlander movies? The guys who are immortal and lasted the longest were the ones who kept to themselves and didn’t try to assume identities of dead people. This is the Internet age and with a few clicks anyone can look you up and figure out who you are. Which would lead back to avoiding issues with number 1 on this list.
5. Isolate yourself.
Nobody wants to be a hermit all alone on an island, but remember the previous entries? It’s safer to assume there’s someone who wants what you have and wants to take you out. And not out to dinner for drinks. 😉
6. Invest, invest, invest…in how to stay alive.
If I had immortality I would work to be prepared for anything. Hand-to-hand combat. And I’m talking problems centuries into the future. What happens when the sun goes red? What happens if there is a world war? I’d be the queen of disaster preparedness. How do you prepare for all this? Work hard and save your money…from your island in the middle of nowhere wrapped in bubble wrap. (I didn’t say this would be easy.)
7. Prepare for boredom.
You could avoid this one by taking care of number 6. Want to protect your body? Learn to be a ninja. Want to protect your investments? Learn to be an accountant. I’d personally amass the largest library possible with all sorts of learning materials. If you’re gonna be alive forever you might as well keep your mind fresh. With online distance learning I think you’d have this one covered easy peasy.
So there’s my list. So if you had a chance to be immortal, what would you do to stay that way?
Shawntelle Madison is a web developer who loves to weave words as well as code. She’d never admit it, but if asked she’d say she covets and collects source code. After losing her first summer job detasseling corn, Shawntelle performed various jobs—from fast-food clerk to grunt programmer to university webmaster. Writing eccentric characters is her most favorite job of them all. On any particular day when she’s not surgically attached to her computer, she can be found watching cheesy horror movies or the latest action-packed anime. She lives in Missouri with her husband and children.
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Under My Skin by Shawntelle Madison
Available on December 9, 2014 by Shawntelle Madison
Everyone wants to either be a member of the Guild or work for them. Little does the populace know that the Guild hides sinister secrets…
For Tate Sullivan, life in her small, coastal town is far from glamorous. The affluent lives of the Guild members and their servants isn’t something she has ever wanted. But all sixteen year-olds must take a simple test, and Tate’s result thrusts her into the Guild’s world, one where they hide horrible plans for those they select. Tate must fight the relentless General Dagon for control of her mind, body, and soul to keep the one precious thing she has always taken for granted: herself.
Her only ally is the same handsome boy she is pitted against in General Dagon’s deadly game. Quinn desires nothing more than to end the life of General Dagon who has taken over Tate’s mind. While romance blooms between Tate and Quinn, General Dagon plots to eventually take over Tate’s body, and love might end before it even begins.
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