A big welcome to R. L. Naquin who is here counting down the Top 10 Top 10 Ways to Become an Urban Fantasy Heroine and celebrating the release of Golem in My Glovebox, Monster Haven #4 (published on April 21, 2014 by Carina Press). Want to win a copy? Enter via the widget below.
R. L. Naquin’s Top 10 Ways to Become an Urban Fantasy Heroine
Buy yourself some leather
Start small with a nice belt if you’re nervous about it. Add a leather vest when you’re ready. Eventually, you’ll want to progress to the leather pants—the tighter the better. If you’re worried about lack of mobility, don’t worry. They’ll be like a second skin in no time, and may even help tuck in a troublesome tummy.
Grab a weapon
Enchanted sword not your style? Crossbows too bulky to carry to the PTA meeting? Guns come in a variety of sizes, and there are some truly creative ways out there to conceal them under your clothes without ruining the line of your outfit.
Have a dark past
If your parents are still alive, make up a suitably devastating story. No one’s going to fact check you. Or take a run-of-the-mill break up (it’s not you, it’s me, I think we should just be friends) and twist it into a full-blown betrayal in which your ex handed you over to your enemies.
Get a tattoo or a scar
You’ve got to stand out somehow. What better way than a fancy tattoo? If it glows, so much the better, though I imagine glow-in-the-dark tattoo ink might be on the toxic side. If you’re afraid of needles, a scar is also a great way to stand out and has the benefit of adding to the plausibility of #3. Just don’t tell anybody the scar came from a crazy shaving accident when the cat distracted you and you tripped over the dog.
Acquire a whacky sidekick
Your best friend will do in a pinch, but make sure s/he isn’t better looking and doesn’t have a more intriguing backstory than you do. Talking animals are also excellent, but not as easy to find.
Prepare a reserve of quippy one-liners
With practice, you might be able to adlib a good retort when the bad guy is breathing his fetid breath in your face and trying to eat your liver, but it’s best in the beginning to write them ahead of time so you’re not stuck with nothing to say. Don’t let your last words be “Oh, yeah? Well, I think you’re a big doodyhead.”
Fall in love with or be loved by at least two people
Triangles are the best! If you take the first mate that comes along, you might miss the right one. The more potential lovers you have, the more interesting you will be.
Learn to fight
Seriously. That cool weapon from #9 isn’t going to help you if you can’t land a punch or kick somebody in the face. Plus, a good crotch punch to your nemesis can be really satisfying.
Be the Chosen One
Whatever you choose to do, make sure you’re the only one who can pull it off. Figure out what makes you special, then milk it for all it’s worth.
Find someone supernatural to fight, escape from, or rescue
Really, this is the only one that’s important. The rest is window dressing. Pick a fight with a werewolf. Fall in love with a vampire. Save a demon from the Leprechaun Mafia.
Whatever you do, let magic and monsters into your life and you can be an urban fantasy heroine, too.
You just have to believe.
Rachel is the author of the urban fantasy Monster Haven series from Carina Press. She believes in magic, the power of love, good cheese, lucky socks, and putting things off until stress gets them done faster at the last minute.
10 winners of a single Monster Haven ebook, winner’s choice. 2 winners of all four books in the set.
Available on April 21, 2014 by Carina Press
In her role as Aegis, Zoey Donovan has rescued and cared for hundreds of monsters and mythical creatures. Now humans are the ones in need of her help. Someone with a personal vendetta against the Board of Hidden Affairs has kidnapped all the other Aegises in the country–including Zoey’s mother.
With the Hidden government in shambles and a string of deadly clues to follow, Zoey and her reaper boyfriend set out on a cross-country chase to stop the kidnapper from killing the captured Aegises. Along the way, they pick up a miniature golem who’s on a quest to find his humanity…and may be the key to solving the grisly clues.
If Zoey succeeds in defeating this new evil, she’ll finally be reunited with the mother she lost over twenty years ago. But if she fails, she’ll become the final victim.
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